Jeg har mistet nærværet. Og måske synes jeg også lidt, at vi har det. Altså alle os ledere, der knokler rundt i den offentlige sektor. Udvikler, implementerer, forandrer, omorganiserer, producerer papirer, holder møder, og endnu flere møder, sætter mål, effektevaluerer og så gør vi det igen. Vi løber og løber. Nogle gange mest bare på stedet. Flere og flere bliver syge. Jobskiftene bliver hyppigere og hyppigere. Mange brænder ud alt for tidligt. Men til hvilken nytte?
Jeg tror en stor del af nytteløsheden kan tilskrives et manglende ledelsesmæssigt nærvær. Over for opgaverne, over for vores medarbejdere og over for os selv.

En eftermiddag i november

Det blev helt tydeligt for mig en eftermiddag i november. Jeg havde 1-til-1 med Nathalie. Hun har arbejdet for mig i en del år og kender mig rigtig godt. Til sidst i samtalen bad jeg hende om feedback. Normalt har Nathalie ikke så meget at sige – ”Det går da meget godt”. Men sådan var det ikke denne gang. Hendes melding var klar. Jeg var ikke den chef hun kendte længere. ”Du summer rundt som en lille forvirret bi”, sagde hun.
Og hun havde ret. Jeg havde også selv mærket det den sidste tid, men ikke rigtigt villet erkende det. Mit nærvær var på retur, jeg havde svært ved at koncentrere mig i sparringen med mine medarbejdere og jeg var ligesom hele tiden på vej et nyt sted hen. Og når det sker for os ledere, så går det ikke kun ud over os selv. Det går i ligeså høj grad ud over vores medarbejdere og de opgaver, de er ansvarlige for.

På jagt efter nærværet

Den oplevelse. Og en del flere. Satte gang i en længere refleksionsproces, der er kulmineret med, at jeg nu har sagt op. Efter mere end 10 år som embedsmand og snart 6 som leder har jeg sagt pænt farvel og mange tak.

Ikke for at stemple ud for altid, men fordi jeg har en mission: Jeg vil genfinde nærværet. 1. juni begiver jeg mig derfor ud på en 7 måneders lang pilgrimsfærd. Jeg skal vandre mere end 2000 kilometer gennem Europa. Og jeg skal fordybe mig tre måneder på et af Europas største mindfullnescentre; Plum Village.

Og imens jeg vil jeg skrive herinde om nærvær, om ledelse og om hvad vi offentlige ledere kan gøre for at styrke vores nærvær og derved vores lederskab. Det kommer både til at være personlige erfaringer, teoretiske refleksioner og nok også lidt om mine oplevelser gennem Europa. Jeg håber også, at I har lyst til at være med på rejsen og give mig indspark, ideer, gode råd og dele ud af egne erfaringer.

(Visited 2.364 times, 1 visits today)

134 Comments

  1. Karen Marie 14. maj 2019 at 21:25

    Stort tillykke med beslutningen og med dit nye univers

  2. Rasmus Tolstrup 15. maj 2019 at 16:08

    Mange tak. Og tak for hjælpen med at komme igang!

  3. Jacob Andersen 16. maj 2019 at 8:11

    Hvor er det vigtigt, hvad du gør!
    Verden flytter sig ikke, før modige mennesker træder autentisk frem. Klar til at satse. Og til at miste. Fordi livet bliver vigtigt. På en sådan færd ligger der skatte begravet i vejkanten. Jeg glæder mig til at læse om nærvær i organisationsverdenen. Der er brug for mere.
    Uden nærvær i nuet er det vaner, tilfældige indfald og påvirkninger udefra, der styrer vores tanker, handlinger og i sidste ende vores liv. Et liv og et lederskab på autopilot. Ved at skærpe nærværet, lærer vi gradvist at bevare en mere vågen kontakt indad og være tro mod vores værdier, mens vi udfolder os i livet.

  4. Mia Schnefeldt 16. maj 2019 at 8:59

    Respekt

  5. Ulrik Hoffmann 16. maj 2019 at 12:07

    Respekt!

    Ønsker dig en rigtig lærerig rejse og glæder mig til at følge dig.

    Bh. Ulrik Hoffmann

  6. Charlotte Knudsen 17. maj 2019 at 10:03

    Hvor er du modig, god vind på rejsen

  7. Majbritt 17. maj 2019 at 19:53

    Tillykke med din beslutning. Jeg glæder mig til at følge din rejse/blog. Hvor var det godt du havde en medarbejder til at råbe dig op og var hvor det godt du lyttede. Bliver spændende at se hvordan du kommer ud/lander.

  8. Annemette 21. maj 2019 at 16:24

    Det er da selvindsigt, tak for det!

  9. Niels Routhe 22. maj 2019 at 11:48

    Det er med stor interesse, at jeg har læst din fortælling.
    Jeg ser det som en bemærkelsesværdig, ansvarsfuld og modig beslutning. Man kan kun glædes over, at du handler i det åbne rum ved at spørge “Hvad gør jeg her?”, “Hvorfor laver jeg det, jeg laver”.
    Når nærvær hvirvles ind i centrifugen af projekter, papirer m.m., så det til sidst mest af alt er fraværet, der bliver det gennemgående, er det du gør, et forbilledligt tegn på, at du har tænkt dig at blive herre i dit eget hus.
    Jeg glæder mig til følge dig og høre, om de svar du finder på din vej.

  10. Birthe Forst Jensen 2. juni 2019 at 10:43

    God rejse. Jeg glæder mig til at følge med.

  11. Astrid 2. juni 2019 at 11:14

    God rejse Rasmus, glæder mig til at følge dig kh Astrid fra Hillerød (Vi har mødtes hos Inger og Richard)

  12. Maja 2. juni 2019 at 17:45

    Jeg ønsker dig lykke på rejsen, den indre såvel som den ydre, og håber det at stoppe op vil brede sig.

  13. Jesper Bilde 3. juni 2019 at 19:05

    Rigtig god tur Rasmus. Jeg glæder mig til at følge med og høre hvordan det udvikler sig med nærværet…. knus og tanker herfra

  14. Peter Mortensen 8. juni 2019 at 10:02

    Hej Rasmus
    Tak for inspiration. Tror det er vigtigt det du gør og sætter fokus på for os ledere. Som leder i den private skole verden er det ikke så sjældent at nærværet til ansatte. Forældre eller elever forsvinder.
    Jeg vil spændt følge med og lade mig inspirere af dine tanker og oplevelser.

    Ja du skulle nok have brugt baghaven i Lejre i stedet for shelteren.
    God tur

    Petet

  15. Rasmus Tolstrup 13. juni 2019 at 16:52

    Kære Peter. Tak for din hilsen her og for din imødekommenhed på vejen. I fremtiden vil jeg altid vælge baghaver. Der er meget at lære på denne tur! På genhør. Kh Rasmus

  16. Rasmus Tolstrup 13. juni 2019 at 16:53

    Tak Jesper! Det er godt nok længe siden. Jeg håber du trives og har godt gang i nærværet 🙂 Hils omkring dig! Knus retur

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